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@@ -1,25 +1,101 @@
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-#!/usr/bin/tcl
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+# insult.tcl
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#
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-# insult script, connects to insulthost.colorado.edu:1695
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-# and gets an insult
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+# This rather silly script generates random insults and insults people with the
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+# !insult command.
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#
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+# The script used to connect to insulthost.colorado.edu:1695 to get the
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+# insults. Unfortunately, the server does not exist any more. Apparently, the
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+# source code of the insultd created by garnett@colorado.edu that was running
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+# on insulthost.colorado.edu:1695 was released. The insultd source code can
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+# still be found in the attachments of the following Mozilla bugzilla:
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+# https://bugzilla.mozilla.org/show_bug.cgi?id=204356
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+# All the insults in this script are taken from the insultd source code.
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#
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-# set hostname or IP and port:
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-proc pub_insult { nick host hand chan arg } {
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+# Usage:
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+# !insult insult yourself
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+# !insult user insult user
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+#
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+# Enable for a channel with: .chanset #channel +insult
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+# Disable for a channel with: .chanset #channel -insult
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+
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+# tested versions, might run on earlier versions
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+package require Tcl 8.6
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+package require eggdrop 1.8.4
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-set insulthost "insulthost.colorado.edu"
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-set insultport "1695"
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-set insultnick [lindex $arg 0]
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+namespace eval ::insult {
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+ # channel flag for enabling/disabling
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+ setudef flag insult
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-# open socket, get insult message, close socket and
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-# output the message::
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+ # insult parts from insultd.cf in insultd source code
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+ variable adjectives "acidic antique contemptible culturally-unsound
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+ despicable evil fermented festering foul fulminating humid impure inept
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+ inferior industrial left-over low-quality malodorous off-color
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+ penguin-molesting petrified pointy-nosed salty sausage-snorfling
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+ tastless tempestuous tepid tofu-nibbling unintelligent unoriginal
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+ uninspiring weasel-smelling wretched spam-sucking egg-sucking decayed
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+ halfbaked infected squishy porous pickled coughed-up thick vapid
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+ hacked-up unmuzzled bawdy vain lumpish churlish fobbing rank craven
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+ puking jarring fly-bitten pox-marked fen-sucked spongy droning gleeking
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+ warped currish milk-livered surly mammering ill-borne beef-witted
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+ tickle-brained half-faced headless wayward rump-fed onion-eyed
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+ beslubbering villainous lewd-minded cockered full-gorged rude-snouted
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+ crook-pated pribbling dread-bolted fool-born puny fawning sheep-biting
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+ dankish goatish weather-bitten knotty-pated malt-wormy saucyspleened
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+ motley-mind it-fowling vassal-willed loggerheaded clapper-clawed frothy
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+ ruttish clouted common-kissing pignutted folly-fallen plume-plucked
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+ flap-mouthed swag-bellied dizzy-eyed gorbellied weedy reeky measled
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+ spur-galled mangled impertinent bootless toad-spotted hasty-witted
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+ horn-beat yeasty imp-bladdereddle-headed boil-brained tottering
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+ hedge-born hugger-muggered elf-skinned"
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-set s [socket -async $insulthost $insultport]
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-set insult [gets $s]
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-puthelp "PRIVMSG $chan :$insultnick: $insult"
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-#after 500
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-close $s
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+ variable amounts "accumulation bucket coagulation enema-bucketful gob
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+ half-mouthful heap mass mound petrification pile puddle stack
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+ thimbleful tongueful ooze quart bag plate ass-full assload"
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+ variable nouns "bat|toenails bug|spit cat|hair chicken|piss dog|vomit
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+ dung fat-woman's|stomach-bile fish|heads guano gunk pond|scum rat|retch
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+ red|dye|number-9 Sun|IPC|manuals waffle-house|grits yoo-hoo dog|balls
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+ seagull|puke cat|bladders pus urine|samples squirrel|guts
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+ snake|assholes snake|bait buzzard|gizzards cat-hair-balls rat-farts
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+ pods armadillo|snouts entrails snake|snot eel|ooze slurpee-backwash
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+ toxic|waste Stimpy-drool poopy poop craptacular|carpet|droppings jizzum
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+ cold|sores anal|warts"
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}
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-bind pub - !insult pub_insult
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+proc ::insult::insult { nick host hand chan arg } {
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+ variable adjectives
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+ variable amounts
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+ variable nouns
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+
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+ # check channel flag if enabled in this channel
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+ if {![channel get $chan insult]} {
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+ return 0
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+ }
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+
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+ # set name of insulted person
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+ set insultnick $nick
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+ if {$arg != ""} {
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+ set insultnick [lindex $arg 0]
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+ }
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+
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+ # generate insult:
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+ # You are nothing but a(n) {adj1} {amt} of {adj2} {noun}
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+ set adj1 [lindex $adjectives [rand [llength $adjectives]]]
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+ set adj2 [lindex $adjectives [rand [llength $adjectives]]]
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+ set amt [lindex $amounts [rand [llength $amounts]]]
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+ set noun [lindex $nouns [rand [llength $nouns]]]
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+ set noun [string map {"|" " "} $noun]
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+ set an "a"
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+ if {[string match {[aeiouh]} [string index $adj1 0]]} {
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+ set an "an"
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+ }
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+ set insult "You are nothing but $an $adj1 $amt of $adj2 $noun"
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+
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+ puthelp "PRIVMSG $chan :$insultnick: $insult"
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+ return 1
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+}
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+
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+namespace eval ::insult {
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+ bind pub - !insult ::insult::insult
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+ putlog "Loaded insult.tcl"
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+}
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hwipl